The Old Farmer

[NFLMINNOWPHD]

Due to rerouting St Rt 24 an Ohio Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm in Paulding County and talked with an old farmer.

He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible New road."

The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field over there."

The Highways employee said, "I have the authority of the State of Ohio to go where I want.

See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land."

So the old farmer went about his farm chores.

Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull.


The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the terrified employee at every step.


The old farmer called out,



"Show him your card, Smart Ass!

[Louie]

ehh...Kinda cheap...Here's a good one...

Sunday Morning Sex

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling... Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95- year-old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning. "

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured the best time to do it was when the Church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued,

"He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

[justintyme]

I dont know if its the Crown Royal special reserve talking but that was funny, both of them:funny:

[Louie]

If anyone else has any good ones...post em'

[squirreljf]

ok, I just heard this one, but a bear and a rabbit are in the woods taking a shit. The rabbit looks up at the bear and says "hey bear, do you ever have problems with shit getting stuck on your fur when your crapping?" the bear grabs the rabbit and says "nope"

[hlr13miami]

A 60ish year dad asks his son about Viagra. Sex life gettin slow and all. Son tells him all about it and the dad likes what he hears. Dad asks how much for a wonder pill. Son says $10. Dad says he will leave the money on the sons dresser in the morning. Son gives the dad the pill and they go about their day. Next day son finds $110 dollars on the dresser and asks his dad about it. Dad says $10 is from me and the $100 is from your mom.

Zing